today has been a terrible day..... i cannot do this..... this was the exact reason i didnt go to uni yesterday..... its those memories...... and today has been the worst. every single place i go..... it haunts me..... she doesnt love me..... and yet thought and memories of her wont leave me either. cannot even bring myself to look in the mirror anymore. every single moment today has made me wish i was dead. its everything around me...... every bit of it reminds me of her.... like the brown t shirt i am wearing today.... used to be her favorite..... even the sacred computer labs on level 3.... the access card form with her writing in it.... they all make me wish i got shot or run over or had a heart attack and died instantly... i really want to die..... i know it sounds selfish.... but thats just how i feel.... its the easy way out.... the cowardly way.... but what else can i do.... i tried to hide it from the outside world..... but even that doesnt work anymore...
if anyone has a better idea, let me know......
Thursday, March 15, 2007
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