adrenaline junkie

you ever have one of those days when you find out that you actually like something that you thought you hated?? i have. i had an impossible day today.... you know one of those when you have such a massive job to do in such a short time that it would be lucky of you if you actually made it. my job: two thermodynamics lab reports . the time i have: 10 am to 4:30 pm. yea.... 7 hours 30 mins. these are things that i was given 2 weeks to complete. but in true engineering fashion, i did it all at the last minute. for that time, i drove myself miserable just to make sure that i complete it and while i do it, i hate myself for leaving it so late. but secretly i enjoy it. i focused all my emotions on it... sadness, anger... it was all directed at that keyboard. linear expansion coeffecient and specific heat capacity. never have i zoned out of everything else just to concentrate on just that one task. its scary. coz in the past, i have been known to muck around at the last minute. thats what i have always been like. that too... on the last friday.... the last day before mid-semester break. when everybody is at vesbar getting drunk, i was in that computer lab on WS level 3 writing how the verneir calliper's uncertainty contributed the greatest amount to the linear expansion coefficient's overall uncertainty. 2.5%. and then as the dead line drew nearer, the pressure increased. but i still stuck to it. gave it my all.... and when i handed it in. i thanked god that roy nates still hadnt emptied his box. but after that..... it just felt hollow... i was still pumped up.... still in the "under stress, i need to work faster" mode. and driving home after that is not a good idea.... i was so tempted to just slam my foot on the accelarator and just blast all them cars out the way.... but i couldnt.... i had to resist..... this aint no video games.... the G forces are real. the accelaration is real. those are real people in those cars. and they still got people who love them. just coz i might have lost the love of my life does not mean that i have any right to takes theirs away as well.... but the way i am going right now, it seems like i have a death wish. ill jump off a cliff to my death right now if i have to. i am all charged up. i have too much inside of me to take out.... but i got nothing to take it out on but myself. oh well.... i guess it will pass....